This article really struck me. It’s something I’ve been struggling with for a while – whether to go for a homebirth, or a natural hospital birth next time. I must read this article a few more times I think.
I was eating today in a fast food chain restaurant (to remain unnamed of course) and struggling to pick something out on the menu that I could eat. I have been restricting my diet lately to see if it would improve a little annoying health issue I have been having and so I have removed dairy, gluten, eggs and sugar from my diet.
First, I felt like a freak. When I asked the guy behind the counter if dressing XYZ had dairy in it he didn’t seem to know anything. I was obviously not your average customer. I was a little embarrassed too because I was holding up the line and people behind me were starting to get irritated about my neurotic ways.
Finally I decided on a salad with no croutons and a balsamic dressing on the side. It seemed like it should be be fine with my restrictions.
When I got the salad it of course had cheese all over it. I had not known that would be on it. I scraped off what I could but inevitably there was some left over on top. I ate it anyway and it filled me up even though it would have been easier just to make myself something at home.
And your point is…
I have recently been hearing the term “home birth in the hospital”. I have even seen a local hospital midwife use it in her advertisements. It is a nice idea when you think of it. You get all the benefits of the hospital (drugs and surgery available on demand) but you also get (hopefully) natural birth in a home like setting (you know, there are curtains on the windows).
I am not saying that you can not have a natural birth in a hospital. You can. I have done it. It is done every day. It is however, generally not easy. Women usually have to work very hard for it and know there stuff but – it is totally doable.
What they experience is generally akin to what I experienced in a fast food restaurant today. You can go to fast food joint X and ask for a gluten free, dairy free, sugar free, egg free meal, but they do not have it on their menu. That is not what most of their customers want. The people that work there do not know how to “deal with you”.
You might be able to get something close to what you were looking for, but it WILL NOT be exactly what you wanted because that is simply not what fast food joints do.
How does a fast food restaurant make its money? They make burgers fast and cheap and they sell them all the same: two pickles, special sauce, and a piece of lettuce on a white bun. Guess what- modern US hospitals, work much the same way. Birth is now a money making, assembly line business.
Birth, like a burger, can be assembly line. It can be a money maker. It can be sped and slowed and controlled. It can be timed, planned and kept in a box.
That is not however what a burger should be like, and it is certainly not what birth should be like. Birth can be so much more than this.
It can literally be orgasmic. Life changing. Amazing. Trans-formative. Beautiful. Empowering. Birth can be the best experience of a woman’s life. It can make her feel more powerful and womanly than anything she has ever experienced. It can also, like that burger, make her feel sick, depressed, violated and disgusted.
Now if you want a home birth- HAVE ONE. I am going to say it again, because I hear so many woman say that they WANT a home birth, they are medically able to have one, and yet they don’t. They do not do it because they feel safer in the hospital (just in case) and because they believe the idea that you can have a home birth in the hospital. If you want a home birth, then choose one.
You can have a natural birth in the hospital, but you can not have a home birth in a hospital. I have had both. The first home birth I attended made me realize that I would not (unless I needed to or felt deeply that I must) have another hospital birth.
My hospital birth was amazing, but my home birth was untouched, un-technical, uninterrupted. It was a home birth. It was magical. It was birth as all it could be and all it is meant to be. And it was much better than a greasy burger.